Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
