I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
false alarm, still single
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
