it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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