just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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