I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
