A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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