Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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