What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
