She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
