Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
