if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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