i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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