No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I need moral support for this bender
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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