trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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