This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
