So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The feeling are messing with the penis
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
