I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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