It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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