Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
