She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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