The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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