i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think I just sharted jello shots
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