you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
