Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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