Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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