Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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