I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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