I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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