What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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