I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
