Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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