I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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