"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
