Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
