I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
