is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
