We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
