If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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