Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
