I cannot find my penis.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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