Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
