She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
