She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
