i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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