Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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