Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
