Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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