good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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