Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize