Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
