She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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