i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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