I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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