For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
