it was like his penis was on wheels.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
