he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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