Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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