I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize