WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
