do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
